"It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubborness of the inorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed." - Albert Einstein

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I aspire to a stubbornly incorrigible nonconformity. The degree to which I have achieved my aspiration I leave in the capable hands of those whose wisdom and humilty exceed my own.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Hope Feels Good

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with throat cancer and I have and am still dealing with the effects. Most on my mind these days is that I have lost the ability to swallow so I can no longer eat meals. All of my nutrition comes through a tube in my belly.

The worst part is not the not eating. It is the impact on my socializing. I don't go to dinner with friends and don't participate in many social activities because I can't eat and I don't want to be watching everyone else eat and/or making other people uncomfortable because they are eating in front of me.

I've been doing swallowing therapy locally with poor results. But recently I was referred to the University of Washington Medical Center with the idea that possibly they could do something for me.

After an esophagram the swallowing therapist told me something that no one else has said to me. She told me that she expects that with therapy and a esophagus dilation that I will be able to eat again.

Now I don't know if that will ever really happen. But what I am sure did happen is that hope was awakened in me and hope feels good. It feels good to hope.

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