Hope Feels Good

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with throat cancer and I have and am still dealing with the effects. Most on my mind these days is that I have lost the ability to swallow so I can no longer eat meals. All of my nutrition comes through a tube in my belly.

The worst part is not the not eating. It is the impact on my socializing. I don't go to dinner with friends and don't participate in many social activities because I can't eat and I don't want to be watching everyone else eat and/or making other people uncomfortable because they are eating in front of me.

I've been doing swallowing therapy locally with poor results. But recently I was referred to the University of Washington Medical Center with the idea that possibly they could do something for me.

After an esophagram the swallowing therapist told me something that no one else has said to me. She told me that she expects that with therapy and a esophagus dilation that I will be able to eat again.

Now I don't know if that will ever really happen. But what I am sure did happen is that hope was awakened in me and hope feels good. It feels good to hope.

Happy Father's Day

What a privilege and honor it is to be a father. And more importantly,way an awesome responsibility. It is unlikely that anything else I may do or accomplish in life will have anything approaching the impact and potential to benefit the world that being a father has. When you pause to reflect on fatherhood in this way it is almost enough to frighten anyone. And yet true fathers (as opposed to absentee sperm donors) wouldn't give up fatherhood for anything. Because in addition to having an incredible potential to change the world; fatherhood also has an incredible potential to change the father.

Fatherhood is full time and live. No dress rehearsals or retakes. There is a generous forgiveness for almost any mistake except for the mistake, or choice of not being there. If it is true that 80% of life is showing up it is even more true of fatherhood. And in this instance showing up and being there means more than mere physical prescence. Fathers, in our best moments, show up and are present physically, mentally, and spiritually. Fatherhood is a full time gig that is too important to trust to amateurs.

Father's Day

It is another beautiful day in paradise and tomorrow is Father's Day. My wife and daughter are taking me to the new microbrewery in Wenatchee to celebrate.

Father's Day got me thinking about my relationship with my own father ... and I use the term relationship rather broadly. I cannot think of very many things my father and I ever did together. My father was not very involved, or even interested in me. I felt it then and despite my maturity, I feel it still.

But I have a relationship with my father-in-law, my "Pop," that is wonderful. Mom and Pop stay with us during the summers and head South for the winter (which for them begins mid-August or early September - they take no risks that they will see snow other than on the television, postcards, or in movies). I find that I start eagerly anticipating their getting up here in March and April. And when they get here I just love having them around.

My relationship as a father with my own daughter, who is now 21 has been complicated. At times difficult, but I love seeing how she has matured into a woman who I love and respect. The hardest part for me is that I am not sure she respects me, but that may be a function of her age. I am reminded of Mark Twain's quote about his own father, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.”

I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I have high expectations, but fortunately, I have a lot for which to be thankful.

On March 25, 2008 Chelsea Clinton was campaigning for her mother, Senator Hillary Clinton. The younger Ms. Clinton was making one in a series of campaign stops at college campuses at Butler College in Indianapolis, Indiana. A student journalist asked Ms. Clinton if Senator Clinton's credibility was harmed by former President Bill Clinton's involvement with a White House intern.

The younger Ms. Clinton responded to the question with remarkable poise and grace, "Wow, you're the first person actually that's ever asked me that question in the, I don't know maybe, 70 college campuses I've now been to, and I do not think that is any of your business."

I am no fan or supporter of Hillary Clinton or former President Clinton. I believe that there are way too many unanswered questions about Whitewater, futures trading, and long misplaced files suddenly appearing on a table in the White House. Beyond that I am much more impressed that while Senator Clinton was practicing law and doing her "First Lady" gigs, Senator Obama was working with and for, and living among the poor and marginalized in Chicago.

Senator Clinton apparently "misspoke" about whether or not she was "under fire" in Eastern Europe, which seems odd to me, since I am quite sure that if you were for the one and only time in your life under fire in a combat zone I believe it would sufficiently impress itself upon your mind that it would be highly unlikely that you might "misspeak"about it years later, and only when campaigning for President of the United States. If, in fact, Senator Clinton did misspeak about being under fire, I would have serious concerns about her cognitive lapses.

Lastly, Senator Clinton's abrupt relocation to New York, a large state with a large Democratic voting block, seems to me to be a completely transparent attempt to position herself for a presidential campaign. Senator Clinton assumed that the Democratic party would enthusiastically embrace her and bestow the mantle of candidate upon her by default. Senator Clinton did not anticipate that Senator Obama wold be such a popular candidate.

But beyond all of that I am very troubled by how negative Senator Clinton has been in attacking Senator Obama, and we are still in the primary campaign.

So when the younger Clinton speaks with such grace and poise, is direct, makes no clever attempt to avoid or dismiss the question, and answers honestly with a tact far in excess of the question, I am very pleased. In fact, I want to know when Chelsea will run for something.

The student journalist who asked the question later defended the question by lamely claiming he was interested in Chelsea's response, principally to illustrate how Senator Clinton successfully negotiated a difficult time in her life. I think I can hear his nose growing now.

Regrettably, and amazingly, that has not been the end of it. Again on March 31, 2008 Chelsea Clinton was at North Carolina State University and was asked a similar question. The younger Ms. Clinton's response was equally tactful, poised, graceful, and direct.

It does make me question how truthful the American public is being when they consistently say that they don't like negative campaigning, since these inappropriate questions keep coming up and all the research indicates that despite our faint protests, negative campaigning works.

I AM APPALLED

On the evening of Tuesday April 1, 2008 I received an email from one of my Senators, Patty Murray. The subject line was "Rallying Against The Tanker Decision". In the email Senator Murray wrote that she protested the Air Force's "misguided decision to award a $40 billion tanker refueling contract to the European company Airbus."

I am simply appalled and I share my response to Senator Murray here.

Senator Murray,

I AM APPALLED!!!!

• As this nation spends literally billions of dollars daily to wage a war
  falsely claiming to be a retaliation against terrorists who were raised and
  trained in Saudi Arabia and based on overstatements, exaggerations, outright
  lies, and pretext to satisfy President Bush’s attempt to build his legacy on the
  backs of dedicated young men and women and the bodies of Iraqis
• As no bid contracts are awarded to large corporations with ties to the administration and those same contractors are found to be wasting and/or embezzling the funds that American citizens have paid in taxes and borrowed against their children’s and grandchildren’s and great-grandchildren’s futures
• As young men and women are deployed multiple times to fight an insurgent and now civil war with no realistic prospect of any hope for a resolution within sight - particularly given our experience of Viet Nam and the more recent and ongoing real world example of the utter and folly of a “war against terrorism” in the Middle East
  As daily more of those same young men and women come home not in uniform but in body bags
• As the Democratic majority has been unwilling and/or unable to take an affirmative stand against the illegal, immoral, and ultimately unforgivable actions of the current administration while we watch our international legitimacy and currency erode with every new picture or story of American atrocities and excesses …
  
  And I could but will not go on.
  
  I find your “Rallying against the tanker decision” to be an obscene waste of your precious time as my representative in Congress. From everything that I have read the contract was awarded to the lowest bid who provided the best value for the money proposed, which of course, will be borrowed against the futures of my children and grandchildren and …
  
  I find it inexcusable that you

• Have been unable to find as much passion to oppose the war in Iraq
• To demand that the President acknowledge that there never were any weapons of mass destruction, terrorists from Iraq, or any terrorist training bases in Iraq, at least until the United States pressured some nations to join us in an unprovoked attack against a sovereign nation
• To publicly admit that the only planes allowed to fly immediately following the bombings in New York and Washington DC were Saudi planes allowing material witnesses sought for interview by the FBI
• Have not demanded that the President keep his word and fire any and all persons involved in the wanton release of a CIA operative’s name in retaliation for the truth spoken by her husband which was contrary to the Administration position and thus jeopardized her life and career as well as the life of her family
• Have not demanded that the President and all members of his staff fully and unequivocally comply with the provisions of the Geneva Convention and oppose all forms of inhumane or degrading treatment of prisoners and in particular denounce and reject any act of torture
• That you have not demanded that the present administration immediately cease dealing with any contracted provider who was awarded a contract without competitive bidding and demand a full accounting of all excesses, waste, and embezzlement of millions of dollars and demand that any person including Chief Operating Officers, executives, or members of the present administration who have been found to have participated in such acts receive the same type of punishment that a young black man would receive for shoplifting.

Airbus won the contract in competitive bidding. Apparently it has been acceptable to this nation for decades that we supply arms to the world, including supplying arms to brutal dictators when it served a "national interest" and including supplying arms that American soldiers ultimately faced in Iraq when it was no longer in our national interests to support Saddam Hussein. And now we are supplying logistics and arms to Pakistan in what promises to be a repeat of a historical pattern of arming brutal, oppressive regimes in what is a truly misguided hope that we will benefit from the support of that regime and achieve some good end. It seems only just that when a provider, regardless of where their coprpoate headquarters are located, submits the lowest bid in a competitive bid and meets and/or exceeds the standards established for satisfying the bid, that the contract be awarded to that provider. If we truly believe in the capitalistic democracy and the free operation of the markets then we should believe in and demonstrate that in what we do. If we act against our own rhetoric, as we have so often done in the past, we can hardly expect that people will be willing to have confidence in our rhetoric.

Voters in Farmer's Branch Texas were to decide Saturday whether to repeal or approve an ordinance prohibiting landlords from renting apartments to most illegal immigrants in their Dallas suburb.

It is interesting, and tragically ironic, that on the 500th anniversary of the establishment of the English settlement of Jamestown, this vote should be taking place. Settlers at Jamestown did not have a passport, visa, or guest worker permit. They did not, in fact, even ask permission of the original inhabitants before occupying their lands and taking food they had stored ... which seems to me to clearly violate one of the commandments of the religion to which they professed to be so passionately devoted that despite enormous costs, risks, and dangers, they came to this continent seeking a refuge where they could freely practice their faith ... which commands that they not steal ... which is what they did almost as soon as they landed.

The situation for Texans is even more hypocritical. Citizens of the newly formed United States were invited to immigrate to the Mexican territory of Texas by the Mexican government. The Mexican government was liberal in the invitation; however, the Mexican government also abolished slavery. Some of the new immigrants refused to comply with this law and imported slaves.

It seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Who Is Really At Fault Here?

CBS Radio fired Don Imus on April 12, 2007, but only after mounting public pressure to do so. On April 4, 2007 Mr. Imus referred on air to the Rutgers women's basketball team using well worn phrases that are both racist and mysoginistic, but which warrant no repeating.

Mr. Imus is now suing CBS Radio for wrongful termination. Apparently, Mr. Imus' contract specifies that he will be "controversial" and "irreverent."

Mr. Imus bears the ultimate responsibility for what he chooses to do and to say. It is likewise appropriate that, at the minimum, he should experience the natural and logical consequences of his choices.

Beyond that; however, sorting out who is responsible can be a little more difficult.

CBS Radio has some responsibility. They pay Mr. Imus. Apparently they encouraged him, with an obscenely large bag of money, to be "controversial" and "irreverent." Any employer has responsibilty for what their employee does. All employers have an obligation to train, supervise, counsel and discipline as necessary, retrain and rehabilitate as necessary, and to terminate an employee based on performance. For celebrities, too often employers ignore, deny, or evade this duty.

Sponsors have some responsibility. They are the ones that fill the bag that CBS Radio gives to their employees. Sponsors do not do this because they value the rich tapestry of "controversial" and "irreverent" talk radio that furthers the public debate and strenthens our democracy. They give CBS Radio that money because it helps them sell their widgets, which in turn helps them pay their corporate officers and more importantly return dividents to investors. Corporations have demonstrated again and again that they recognize no particular obligation to moral or ethical behavior that supercedes their primary mission, to make money.

But as citizens and consumers we have an individual and collective duty to be honest with each other and with ourselves, which we rarely do. It is so much easier and entertaining to compalain about what this company is doing to us or what this politician has done, yadda, yadda, yadda. In fact, the money that Mr. Imus receives to be "controversial" and "irreverent" comes from CBS Radio, who gets the money from the sponsors, who gets the money from selling widgets, most of whcih we do not need, to us.

I do not know about you. I can only speak for myself. I have an indivdual responsibility to exercise the use of my very limited resources in a responsible way. For me that means that it is vitally important from whom I purchase items or patronize services. My greatest impact on the corporate world is the exercise of the leverage of my dollar. I aspire to make choices about how I spend those dollars in ways that are consistent with my own intellectual, emotiona, and spiritual beliefs and values and that cultivates and helps to construct the type of community and world in whcih I want to live.

I choose not to patronize businesses that are destructive to the environment, to people, or to the social fabric.

I make a deliberate, conscious, thoughtful effort to choose to purchase my clothing from manufacturers who pay a living wage and treat their employees and the Earth in a responsible, humane, respectful way. For clothing manufacturers in particular, this type of behavior is the exception and requires more effort and on many occasions, more $$$ than the ostrich approach to consumer spending. If I don't see it, it didn't happen, doesn't matter, isn't my problem.

A friend of mine, who is very image conscious, excitedly told me about her trip to New York. She purchased a designer handbag from a street vendor. A very high percentage of property crimes are related to the illegal drug trade and by extension to violent crimes, destruction of our environment, individual lives, families, communities, a huge investment in rehabilitation and treatment, and a much larger investment in incarceration and courts. My friend would deny having anything to do with the drug trade, especially supporting it. However, when she gave that street vendor her money for a product that she knew or should have known was stolen, she , in fact, did support the drug trade. That money eventually found its way up someone's nose or into their bloodstream.

So, who is responsible for what Mr. Imus says and does? CBS Radio would not expect and encourage and tolerate Mr. Imus' controversial irreverence if it was not popular and profitable. Corporations would not give CBS Radio their money knowing it was to be given to Mr. Imus if they did not believe that doing so would help them sell more widgets, buy another boat, and take that Carribean cruise.

Every dollar I give to a corporation or business or non-profit agency or individual who I know or should know will use that money irresponsibly is my business and my choice. It is appropriate that I experience the natural and logical consequences of my choices and behavior. That is why we have the politicians we deserve. We have the entertainers we deserve. We have the music lyrics we deserve. We have the television shows we deserve. yadda, yadda, yadda.